Over the years, I’ve found myself in a lot of self-doubt. I’ve struggled with waves of depression, and an over whelming since of failure. I’ve recently had my eyes open to new ways of viewing my depression! Life isn’t a race with others, it’s meant to be enjoyed! The beautiful thing about life, is that everyone’s life is different!
Recently, I’ve been taking more time for some self-care and love. I’ve found a love for audio books, and I couldn’t recommend audible enough. Instead of complaining about the Nashville, TN traffic, I almost get excited to get more time for my audio books. I love YouTube!! Wife Life and Jen Bretty have helped me so much. My body hasn’t felt any better than being on a whole food – plant based diet. I still think I’m fat in a bikini, but at least I feel good, and a health journey is always a process! I’m obsessed with my essential oil diffuser. I’m constantly blasting lavender throughout the entire house. I take time for a nice long bath, with Always Autumn Crafts products – had to plug my shop in 😉 but taking time to take a hot bath, a face mask, and a glass of wine, really go a long way.
Along with all of that, I discovered the company, Moon Juice. I can feel a lot of stress roll away. They are an all-natural herbal supplement that helps with anxiety, focus, sleep, and many other factors. I also wake-up early in the morning, and enjoy the coffee with my dogs on the couch. I’ve been journaling again, and I’m trying to be more open to the unknown future – and not being crippled with fear.
I had a hard time with a break up going into college, that shattered my self-worth. I lost so much hope when my Aunt Peggy past away. I became crippled with fear and anxiety when my father became sick…. Maybe the people that walked out of our lives, walked out, because they sucked! Maybe I'll never get an explanation, or an I'm sorry... Maybe I wasn't the entire problem? Why has it taken eight years, to finally realize that I’m not a failure. Just because someone else didn’t see my full potential, doesn’t mean I don’t have a purpose.
It’s taken eight years… I repeat eight years… to move on from all my deep leveled self-doubt! I have a great husband that tells me daily how beautiful I am, and how funny he thinks I am. That is enough, and that makes me happy. Forget the people that forgot you… clearly, they weren’t meant to be in your life. I have a wonderful family that loves me to no end. I have the sweetest fur babies, and a place to sleep at night. I am blessed!
Maybe we all don’t have kids by the time we’re twenty-five. Maybe we can’t have kids at all. Just because she’s pretty, doesn’t mean you aren’t either! Maybe we don’t have our master’s degree, or even a house. Maybe you have extra rolls when you sit down… who cares! Maybe, I drink and cuss a little, but I still love Jesus! Stop comparing your life to others. The bad thing about social media, is that you are constantly seeing peoples “Greatest Hits”. On very rare occasions do you get to see the actual problems.
Depression is a common thing, and I want to talk about it more. It’s so hard trying to stay motivated, when you feel defeated. It was so hard in college to even get through my classes… some days it was an accomplishment if I got out of bed. I’m proud of who I’ve become, and the things I’ve learned along the way. I wouldn’t have become the person I am today. Shit is going to happen… point blank! I’m just trying to find my way through it!
I love saving animals, and not eating them! I love making bath bombs, soap, and doing craft fairs! I love being able to help charities that I love! I want to love like Jesus, and not hate on people! I love that my iTunes shuffles from Eminem to David Crowder. I love my job, and love living in Tennessee. I have the greatest friends, and I’m seeing some get married. I’m so happy!
I still go through waves, but I’m finally starting to feel like I can breathe again. So don’t lose hope my friends! Don’t forget the power of your speech! Talking to people, that includes writing, can help so much! I am always here to listen!